39 Days to go: Downfall by chocolate chip biscuit

Ugh - I broke my sugar fast today - majorly. Tonight I have eaten about 4 homemade cookies that I baked with my kids today. Hubby is out and I have wasted about 2 hours on the computer surfing randomly, and eaten all the while....

Ugh.

47 days to go: A great run

This morning for my run I did:

• Walk few mins
• Slow job 5 min
• Stretches
• Run (slow) 10 min
• Walk 1 min
• Run (slow) 10 min
• Walk 1 min
• Run (slow) 10 min
• Walk 5 min

Wow - that is 35 mins of running all together - more than I have done in ages.

Sugar cravings have kicked in a bit again today, but I have avoided them.... eaten a few too many prunes and potato chips tho' LOL

48 days to go: Sugar free and not missing it (much)

I have to admit, at the supermarket tonight, I did think that I could just buy a nice chocolate bar and eat it all up and no one would ever no! But I resisted. I did buy a bag of potato chips (plain because all the others have sugar), but I won't eat the whole bag in one go - LOL!

It was my TOTM today, which must have been why I have been getting a few cravings lately. I nipped them in the bud with some fresh pineapple and prunes - YUM.

53 days to go: My running weapons of choice

I went for my usual run this morning, but this time, as well as my mp3 player, I took a stopwatch. It made such a difference. The music kept me going, but the watch made me meet my goal. I ended up doing:

- walk few minutes
- run 5 mins warmup
- stretch
- run 10 mins
- walk 1 min
- run 10 min
- walk

I felt like I could have kept on going at the end, and previously I'd felt like my running was going nowhere, or getting worse.

I did have a tiny bit of banana before I left instead of running on an empty stomach, so that might have helped too... Might need to experiment on that one.

My sugar-free is going well. I only had a bit of a headache the first day, but have felt great since then.

Today I even made a chocolate self saucing pudding (a "healthier" version) that I have been wanting to try. Apparently it was very good - but I didn't try it! :-) (Very tempted - it smelt yum)

56 days to go: Sugar free again

So the holiday is looming closer, and I am getting the exercise in but eating is still a bit fuzzy, so I have taken a "lentern" commitment to avoid sugar for the next 40 days. Sugar is my downfall and I hope by taking this commitment as part of lent I will stick to it.

"I enjoy savoury foods until my hunger is satisfied".

64 days to go: My new affirmations

I got some books on positive thinking out of the library, and one of them "Head Strong" by Tony Buzan, was interesting. One of the things he talks about is using affirmations, and making sure that they are positive, action-oriented and in the present tense (and not lies! LOL).

So here are my new affirmations:

- I am becoming fitter and healthier.
- Every day in every way I am getting better and better!

I went for a run this morning, but ended up having to walk due to a dodgy hamstring. I am very annoyed as this is the first time i have injured myself in a while, and my body wants to run but I can't!!!

I snacked a bit outside hunger today (had a apple turnover this morning after my daughter's surgery appointment - although that felt like hunger I'm not sure it was; had cheese balls just before lunch from the snack box; and ate m&ms on the way home). I have made some good choices today though.

It is HOT HOT HOT here today - phew!

68 days to go: Starting to book

I am trying to book our accomodation in Samoa and it is driving me a bit crazy. I *really* want this holiday to be great, but we don't have a huge amount of cash... Some of the cheaper places sound nice and some of the expensive places people have bad comments about - so you just can't tell. I guess whatever happens I just need to continue the positive thoughts! :-)

Exercise has been going pretty well lately. I have been getting out on my bike and/or running or walking on most days. The eating thing hasn't been quite so peachy, so there is focus to set there.

Part of me would really love to go on a diet so that I could lose, say 8-10 kg in time for my holiday, but I know that would really be a bad idea....

75 days to go: I am over this heat

The weather has been fantastic lately, but I am over this heat in the evenings. I haven't had a very good sleep the last few nights. I am wearing shorts tonight since it is so hot - I NEVER wear shorts - I don't feel very attractive. Ick....

On a positive note, the exercise is still going well, and I am *trying* to be positive. I still come out with nags and negative things out of habit sometimes, but I am conscious of them and try to follow up with something more positive.

I bought a Geneen Roth book "Why Weight" a few weeks ago in the middle of a binge fest, but when i was reading it yesterday I almost felt like I didn't *really* need another book like that to read. However, it is more of a journal/guide, with questions to answer, so I am progressing with it in parallel with my positive focus.

78 days to go: Exercise frenzy

Wow, I have been getting off my butt a bit this week! I've run or walked every second day at least (did run Sat and walk Sun) AND I've ridden my bike to and from work every day this week and several times last week. Wonders... I have also managed to avoid the snackbox for a WHOLE WEEK!

I think the weather has something to do with it. Being in the southern hemisphere it is lovely summer here at the moment, and we have had so many fantastic clear blue sky days... (not so great for the farmers & orchardists tho').

My positive thinking has been going well. Tonight when hubby and I were sorting out our paperwork (a job I managed to get him to help with instead of doing it myself as usual) I made a joke about his involvement rather than nagging or criticising - it felt much better and he helped!

I've overeaten a little tonight - I wanted to do some baking but there was no flour and hardly any sugar, so I roamed about looking for sugar fixes, ate a few lollies and a couple of bits of leftover chocolate, and then hubby offered me some of his christmas choccies. I don't feel stuffed though, but I think my body was really wanting water... I always mistake that for junk food!!! :-)

All in all January 2008 is going well....PMT will kick in soon, hopefully my positivity will help counteract those PMT demons >:-P

80 days to go: Positivity prevails!

Ok, so I have been on this positive thinking kick, and I think it *has* made a difference to my eating too. That wasn't my main aim, but I wondered if it would be a side effect.

I have avoided the snackbox for a WHOLE WEEK at work, and didn't go and buy lollies at lunchtime at all. Yay! I did snack a bit in the evening, and a few times ate way past full, but I have been in a good positive frame of mind.

I read something in my book that I am going to try out this week. I am wearing a rubber band around my wrist and whenever I have negative or unhelpful thoughts I am going to ping the rubber band... Apparently it is supposed to reinforce it!
:-)

I got out for a run walk yesterday and a walk this evening (although the walk was to the supermarket where I bought chocolate for choc dipped strawberries!)

I am aiming to be active for 30 mins a day. So far the weather has been in my favour...

87 days to go

I have actually been in a positive frame of mind the last few days. My eating hasn't been perfect, but it hasn't been an all out binge either. I am working on my self esteem and being positive, rather than seeing negative in anything as I have a tendancy to do.

I have some thoughts and comments that I am writing, but I will keep those to myself for now.

Addicted to food?

I was just reading this article and realised that I answered yes to pretty much every question!!

"Do I lack self control when I eat?
Does my mind tell me to stop eating but my body disagrees?
Am I ashamed about my eating habits?
Do I hide food and eat it behind closed doors?
Do I feel guilty after I eat?
Do I eat when I’m simply upset about something but not hungry?
Do I eat even though I know it will only lead to negative consequences later?
Do I eat differently in public than I do in private?
When I eat, do I feel pleasure and comfort that I can’t really seem to achieve through other means?
Is my weight adversely affecting my quality of life? "

And the solution?

"If you can learn to recognize what environments and situations set off your cravings, you can then learn to avoid them. "
OK - the situations are - at work when sitting at my desk, at home, especially in the evening in front of the TV or computer

"As well, it’s important to incorporate some kind of exercise or physical activity into your daily routine. Not only will you burn calories and quicken your metabolism by doing this, but exercise is a healthy distraction from your unhealthy preoccupation with food."
OK - so the walking, running, and karate should help if I do them regularly enough

"Other distractions may include meditation or reading or playing the piano – find a hobby that keeps your mind busy and off of food. "
The meditation or maybe prayer or reciting positive affirmations might help, but yes, I do need a hobby - got to dust off those paintbrushes ... I've said it so many times.

"As well, by drinking water every day (about 64 ounces) you can make a big difference in your weight and lessen your food cravings too."
Hmmn - yes in this heat I am guilty of not doing this enough too... although I am pretty good at drinking water.

I think I need to eat more protein too....

96 days to go

Hubby and I are having a child free holiday in Samoa for our 10th wedding anniversary next year. It is 96 days until we leave and I thought that would be a good motivator, but so far I am still munching out on christmas chocolates and raiding the snack box at work.

My running, at least, has got off the ground again, although it is more of a struggle. It is catch 22 really as I know I would enjoy running more if I wasn't lugging so much weight around, but in order to shift that weight I know I should run more.

Anyway I am going to get off my butt and go for a walk - yay for summer and daylight savings!

Sick

Ugh. I got a throat bug and it has set me back for more than a week now. I haven't been able to run and it is really frustrating. I've been eating instead!! Ugh ugh ugh.

Hopefully it is on the mend now. I am going to try to go for a run again in the morning.

Small changes

I am focussing on 3 small changes at the moment:
- 5+ fruit and vege per day
- 30 min exercise per day (6 times per week)
- <45 mins on computer per night

I want to get these nailed before I start focussing on some other goals.

Only 130 days until child-free-island-holiday!!!!

Running to music

Wow - I got an early Christmas present (just couldn't wait!) of an MP3 player, and it has made a HUGE difference to my running. I loaded up some up beat songs that I love, and I have pretty much been getting out there every 2nd day and running (slowly and with a couple of walk breaks) for around 30 mins at a time. It is fantastic!!!!

Have just got back from being away on a course for a few days. It is nice to be home, but I find tonight I have settled back into my old habits munch-wise.... hmmn.

I'm glad I'm not on a diet

The title of this post is true. I'm glad that I'm not counting points, and weighing and feeling guilty.... I eat the foods I like, and I avoid "diet" foods (low fat/no taste/eat more foods). I enjoy exercising for the feeling it gives me, not because it means that I can eat more or weigh less.

But... there is a but, I don't really feel like I have been following the intuitive eating guidelines.

I am a major grazer, and I eat beyond full, and for emotional reasons.

This post gave me food for thought today.. particularly this bit "...carefully listen to your internal cues. If you're not sure whether you're really hungry, you probably aren't. Stop eating when you feel like you’ve had enough to go for a while without eating again. Eating past that point regularly will make you less hungry for subsequent meals, and again, if you’re not proficient in listening to your hunger cues, you may end up overeating. "

My focus for the next 7 days will be eating at defined times - not to restrict me, but just to guide my body into feeling and satisfying that hunger.

They are basic principles, I know what to do... now I just need to become conscious about it, and get off autopilot-excuse-maker.

Eureka!

I've got it!

Well.... I still have a long way to go, but I am getting there. Today was a progress day, after several days of bingeing on sweet stuff and feeling stuffed full.

I took a small piece of leftover brownie with me to work today along with my lunch. I told myself I would have it in the afternoon when I wanted that sugar. I took some fruit and nuts to snack on, but made sure that I was hungry when I snacked.

I installed a little timer program that I have set to count down for 5 minutes on my work computer. When I feel the urge for the snackbox, I hit the timer, promising myself that if I still want it when the timer stops, then I can have it. I did this several times today (lots and lots actually!) but I never actually wanted it at the end of the time. Sometimes I had some nuts or a piece of fruit instead, but mostly I had a drink of water, or just carried on working!

I also am trying to get some spirituality and prayer back into my life. I think that has helped.

For work I am going on a Scrum course soon. Scrum is a project management process for developing software in small "bits" and focussing on the most important things first. I had another Eureka moment this morning and thought that I should apply this approach to the stuff in my life that I want to improve on (healthy eating, exercise, relationships). I'm going to write a list of the things I want to do, prioritise them, and focus on just those that are at the top of the list for a 30 day "sprint".

On a completely different tangent, I have also signed up for Nanowrimo (thanks to Jenn!). I've never written anything in my life, but I'm going to give it a go... Only problem is that it will require even *more* time on the computer! :-)

More than halfway through October!

I have abandoned my rigid/diety approach to life, in favour of treating myself well, dressing well, and feeling good about myself.

October has been a pretty "good" month, in terms of getting off my butt and exercising (walking, running, karate, beach volleyball, cycling), but I have found myself bingeing, and I think it is because I said "I will eat no junk food".... the inner child in me says NO!

My accountability partner is also taking a break, and this forced me to think about what I was really gaining from emailing, blogging, and searching for ideas for hours each night for my overeating habits... really I wasn't getting anywhere. Just doing the same-old-same-old, and resolving to start again fresh in the morning - just like the diet thing!

So I am focussing on some of the HUGS and Beyond Chocolate principles, and just getting on with life. I am focussing on trying to the wife, mother, and person that I should be, and treating myself well.

So I am cutting back on the internet. Aiming for less than half an hour a night (part of my October plan originally anyway). There are a couple of sites I check out daily, and a few others that I will check on occasion. The rest is just wasted time ("chasing rabbits" I think was the term someone else used).

I will try to eat consciously, and I know that I won't always, but that is ok....

So I do still plan to check in on this blog every now and again... and even if no one is reading it, at least I can see where I am at in my life....

I'm off to have a candlelit bath! :-)

OMBO 5: Morning run!

Wow - I got out of bed and went for a morning run this morning, and it was great. The tide was out so I could run along the beach, and I managed to run most of the way, with a bit of walking in there for luck.

My eating has been ok for most of the day, but overate/snacked a bit much late this afternoon and this evening.

I am thinking about buying some sort of mp3 player suitable for running. I think a bit of music might help inspire me to keep going. Don't know anything about ipods etc.... although I remember hearing something about HDDs being worse than flash for running.....

OMBO 3: Temptations

I did well today at avoiding the snack box at work, although I have been munching out on fruit and nuts more than hunger dictated. I actually almost did get something from the snack box - but turned away at the last minute when seeing the person at work who said she had lost a lot of weight on the Sure Slim diet, and that her turning point had been when she had to buy size 18 jeans... which is what I wear!!!

I have eaten two afghan biscuits tonight, but on a positive note, at least they are home made! :-) No preservatives etc.

I've been looking carefully at the products that we use lately and trying to cut back on chemicals. I have swapped to using Living Nature and Skin Food skin and hair products, and tried to go back to "old fashioned" cleaning methods, like soap and water, bicarb soda, etc. I am also trying to get hubby to do more dinners from scratch rather than using highly processed food... having said that, I think my daughter's favourite will always be chicken nuggets! LOL

Better go - part of my goals include being on the internet for less than half an hour in the evenings...

OMBO 2: Still doing ok

Today was ok. I ate lots but generally healthy stuff and avoided the snack box.

Miserable changeable weather today. I hope it is better tomorrow!

OMBO 1: Headache

Always happens... avoids chocolate and junk food and get a massive headache....

Probably didn't help that my darling son woke up several times last night so I am also feeling a little sleep deprived.

Anyway, I am pretty happy that today's plan went to plan.

"Off my butt" October

Fresh month, fresh start...

I have title this fresh start "off my butt october". It is about:

• getting more active (getting back into my running, or walking if I can't get out the door)
• eating healthier (fruit and vege, whole foods)
• getting busy at my "risk" times (in the evening on the internet)
• taking time to relax, breathe, and get closer to my spiritual side

This also ties in with "Push Play" month in New Zealand, so the advertising etc is out there to keep inspiring me.

I am also treating this as I would to encourage good behaviour in my 2 year old - praise and reward good behaviour and ignore bad behaviour... to a point :-). I have asked my hubby to give me a 5 minute shoulder massage at the end of each day where I have had the right attitude. I am also rewarding myself at the end of each week with a little (non-food) treat of things that I have been wanting to buy.

Today again

I ate intuitively today at work (back to normal at work after a few weeks of craziness and travelling). I have gone a bit overboard at home this evening, munching out when I am not really hungry, but overall a good start for the week.

I need to sit down and work out what my goals and rewards are - hubby suggested a sticker chart (like we use for our preschoolers) and I actually think that might not be a bad idea! LOL

No idea what day

We had to go away for a while, as we had a death in the family. This hasn't helped my eating, but I did get myself out for a run the other morning, and had a good long walk today.

It is freezing cold here, although we have had sunshiney days - just with cold icy wind. That is the sort of weather that makes me want to tuck into hot chips and biscuits.

I was supposed to be going away for a week for work next week, but luckily that has been delayed...

Day 378 CD 73: Is is worth blogging? Yay for Spring

Haven't posted for a few days. Still considering the futility of it all. One of my worst eating times is while I sit here on the computer reading through the days blogs and updating my own blog.

Perhaps I would be better doing something else in my evenings? Yoga or weights or painting or another such distraction.

Also the TV and computer are in the same room, so I often get sucked in to watching a program that I don't need to watch, and wasting my evening...

On a positive note, today is the first day of Spring! Hooray! Roll on those long days of summer :-)

Day 375 CD 70

Felt rotten today (too much wine last night, a broken sleep) - ate accordingly

Day 374 CD 69: Exercise day

Wow - just noticed that I have been blogging on my ups and downs with Intuitive Eating for over a year now.

I guess in some ways that is a bit sad, as I don't feel like I really have made any progress.

I still eat more than I should most of the time
I still binge on occasion
I still weigh more than I'd like
I still feel out of control with food
I still sometimes eat in secret

On the other hand...

I do have days when I eat intuitively and have small victories of eating intuitively and making the right choices
I did show that I could give up sugar for a whole month
I am running/walking and bike riding, and I have taken up karate
I am regularly thinking about eating nuts and fruit as snacks, and pack them in my lunch

So I guess in some ways this *IS* progress... it just feels a long way from the way I want to feel.. free from feeling controlled by food and happy with the way I feel

Day 373 CD 68

Been out of action for a few days, away from a computer, which was quite a nice change... actually if the truth be told there was a computer I could use, but it was a mac and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to turn it on!!!!! :-)

On the eating front I did well when I was distracted (it was a busy weekend), but did eat through the best part of a king size bar of chocolate in the space of less than a day! I didn't get out for any runs either.

Had another "interesting" day at work today, which is stressing me a bit - but hoping just to go with the flow.....

Day 368 CD 63: A run in the sun

It was an absolutely stunning day here today (although is supposed to get down to a chilly 2 degrees tonight - brrr!!!)

I went for a lovely run/walk along the beach today. (My only real mini victory today)

Day 367 CD 62

Ho hum day today - a minor victory in that I halfed the chocolate bar that I bought from the snackbox with my co-worker (thus avoiding eating it all myself!).

I didn't make it for a run at lunchtime, as i had these weird stomach cramps. They lasted about an hour, but went away in the end.

Very chilly here tonight - hopefully another fine day tomorrow.

Day 366 CD 61: Eat and eat and eat

It was a beautifully sunny but chilly day today. For some reason I just wanted to eat and eat and eat.... I don't know why....

But anyway, some small victories:
- walk at lunchtime when tempted to buy lollies
- ride bike home instead of getting a lift
- karate

Day 365 CD 60

I have started to log my "mini victories". Today I had a few including:
- going to the snack box for a cookie, buying liquorice instead, and then putting it in my drawer and eating an apple instead (ate it later in the afternoon)
- consciously taking a smaller portion for dinner and my evening snacks
- going for a run at lunchtime.

I am going to work on increasing my mini victories this next 30 days.

If I can average 3 mini victories each day this week, as well as have 5+ fruit and vege, by next Monday, I will buy myself some nice Living Nature products.

Day 364 CD 59

I did moderately today. Looking back at my food diary I can see that I am not eating much fruit during the day, but eating lots of refined food. That has been happening a lot lately.

At least it was a gorgeous sunny day here today. I got out with the kids this morning to the park, and then later this afternoon for a walk along the beach to the rock pools. That was fun!

I'm off to do some weights - haven't done any for a few days.

I feel a need for some goal setting coming on - for health/eating/finances/marriage/exercise....

Day 363 CD 58

I feel like I was a little more on track and intuitive today. I still have a long way to go, but I made some conscious choices today (like going for a run, stopping when I wasn't enjoying the apple turnover).

I think I will go sugar free for 30 days again on Monday. I will talk to hubby about it to see what he thinks. I'm not sure if this latest binge few weeks was caused by the "no sugar" deprivation mentality... anyone out there reading - tell me what you think!

Day 360 CD 54: Karate!

Last night I went to a trial karate class. It was actually quite fun and I think I will take it up once or twice a week.

I have been eating like a crazy woman lately. I got through my first bar of chocolate (plus other stuff) in two days....

I finished the Beyond Chocolate book - now just need to put it into practice - deciding what to focus on first.

Day 359 CD 53: A beautiful monday

Gorgeous weather here today.

I bought 3 king size bars of whittakers creamy milk chocolate tonight, as part of my Beyond Chocolate beginnings. I haven't listened to my hunger today, although I did stop for 60 seconds at one point....

Wednesday is my focus renewal day. Tomorrow I will prepare.

Day 358 CD 52

After a crazy weekend of 2 year old birthday/party, visitors and too much wine, I got an hour or so this afternoon to read my Beyond Chocolate book. So far so good, it seems fairly similar to my other IE books (HUGS, IE, Rules of Normal Eating).

Two things I have picked up on are:
- they said that there will be times when you stop yourself before eating, realise that you are not hungry and that you are eating for emotional reasons, but you will still eat - and that is ok, since we aren't perfect
- often books say "distract yourself, call a friend, go for a walk" but that is not easy to do, they suggested at first to just even stop yourself for 60 seonds to see "where you are at"

I will go and read some more now.

p.s. managed to get out for a run with my sister, and didn't do too badly

Day 355 CD 49

Did ok today until I came to work from home this afternoon. I was stressing about work and worrying about some other things, and I raided the party treats from the pantry....

It's like I put my logical conscious brain away, and let the eating monster inside take over....

I ordered a second hand book called Beyond Chocolate. I think it is basically intuitive eating, but the UK version.... will see how that goes when I get it. I don't want to start over yet again though....

Day 354 CD 48: More crazy eating

Crazy eating days continue...

Day 350 CD 44: After days of bingeing, some light

I've had a bit of a binge fest this week. Gone crazy over sugar and chocolate.

But today wasn't so bad (despite being an awful wet cold dreary day). I didn't munch out, and I ate reasonable portions. I also haven't spend the evening raiding the pantry like I usually do. My stomach currently feels at about a 4, which is much better than going to be on an 8!!!

Aim for tomorrow, meal by meal, think.

Terrible eating frenzy

I had a terrible eating frenzy today - WHAT IS GOING ON?????

Day 345 CD 39

I have gone a bit crazy with food again today... I need to take stock of where I am and what I want and what my body needs.

Day 342 CD 36

STill in a bit of a rut... but this is a lapse, not a relapse....

Day 341 CD 35: Awful day

Awful day today. I had a huge binge in the afternoon.... don't know what is going on.

Why can't this be simple.....

Day 340 CD 34: Still off track

Didn't post yesterday since I went off the rails a bit (2 chocolate bars in the space of 20 mins!!). Today hasn't been too much better...

Day 338 CD 32: No junk food

Ooh - was tempted today - to share a crunchie bar with my colleague, but didn't in the end.

Have eaten a bit more than I should have today (past 5), but at least it was junk food free... will keep working on that.

Day 337 CD 31

Ok, it is time for the next step in my change now. I have decided to do the following things to help me in my next stage.

After all that sugar I had yesterday, I really noticed the effect it had on my body... (not good!)

My aim is to listen to hunger, and to eat junk food less than 3 times per week. In order to help with this, I am going to give myself (and my hubby) 50 cents for each day in the next month that I don't have junk food. If I do eat it then I aim to enjoy it and savour it... and move on.

I am still aiming for more than 5 fruit and vege a day, plus getting some exercise most days (and enjoying how it makes me feel).

Today I took my daughter to the movies, and didn't eat great most of the day.

Day 336 CD 30: I ate sugar today!

I ate sugar today!!!

Even though strictly I should have waited until tomorrow, I was going out this evening and decided that I would have some this afternoon. I have gone a little overboard, but hubby helped me call a halt to the munching that I was doing.

So now what? My new focus is on aiming to not eat sugary stuff more than 3 times per week, and to focus on hunger.

I need to re-assess how I can incent myself. I am very pleased that I pretty much managed the 30 days, but I have to be careful not to fall back into old habits. I now know that I CAN do it if I put my mind to it, and my body feels a whole lots better without the sugar. It really enjoys good quality chocolate in amounts that are enough to savour.

Day 335 CD 29

So - tomorrow is the last day of sugar free. I have to make sure that I don't go crazy with it!

I overate all day today. DOn't know why.....

Day 334 CD 28 - Need to wait for hunger

OK - sugar thing is down, but still have to work on the "listening to my body" thing. I overate and ate when I wasn't really hungry today.

Tomorrow, just focus on waiting for hunger to eat.

Day 333 CD 27

Better on the exercise front today, on this gorgeous sunny day.

Stopped myself from eating when not hungry once today, and once tonight.

Day 332 CD 26

My evening eating is still a problem. I prowl around after the kids are in bed, finding whatever I can that "tastes nice" even though I am not really hungry. I am still doing good at avoiding sugar, so those night time prowls are usually for chips or fatty things.

Day 330 CD 24

Got a headache today, and didn't get out for my run... hopefully more progress tomorrow. On the bright side, still sugar free.

Day 330 CD 24

Got a headache today.. that TOTM. Weather held out but was windy, and I had the kids myself all afternoon, so didn't manage to get in a run. Must try and go during lunchtimes this week.

Day 329 CD 23

It was a fantastic sunny winter's day here today - just great for improving my mood. I should have got out for a run, but ended up just doing jobs. It was nice and relaxing though, and late afternoon I got the kids out of the house and took a walk to the park for a kickaround with the ball.

Unfortunately it looks like the weather is packing in tomorrow.... maybe a run in the chilly rain??

Still sugar free - I guess I will make it now as only 7 days to go!! After the 30 days my aims are to:
- track sugar/junk food eating and aim for less than 3x per week
- consider hunger when eating
- keep active
- divert my attenttion to other things when tempted to eat

Day 328 CD 22

Did ok today - still no sugar. Didn't order lunch as I was full from morning tea. Got the munchies a bit this evening, but apart from that it is all ok.

Day 327 CD 21

Wow - three weeks of my change. I feel very proud of myself for avoiding the sugar, although I do need to work on the chips and cheese that I have been eating!

I haven't posted for a while since we were away over the weekend, and then our pc monitor died. Now we have a loaner until we can sort out a new one. Another expense I just don't need right now....

The trip away made the sugar thing sooo hard. There was a party for my daughter with loads of sweets and chocolate, then a dinner out with friends and two desserts... and lots of leftover birthday cake... BUT I RESISTED. I even pulled out the packet of chocolate thinking I might eat some, but just smelled it instead :-)

I haven't run for more than a week now. Must get back on that horse! The weather has been really miserable here lately with storms etc. Still, the forecast is good for the next few days, so no more excuses there.

I'm going to go through my change contract again tonight and plan what to focus on next, and what will happen about sugar at the end of the 30 days...

Day 320 CD 14: 2 weeks down

SO I have made two weeks - still feel like I am munching out in the evenings.... got to work on that

Day 319 CD 13

Well I just seem to want to eat this afternoon/evening. It is a cold, blah day, and I am getting stressed about all I have to do/buy before this weekend (daughter's party and friend's birthday).

I feel full and bloated now. My only victory today is that I avoided sugar, but maybe my extra cravings are BECAUSE of the no sugar?? Could be lack of water though, as I haven't drunk any water since I have been home from work.

Off to have a drink and go to bed feeling ick.

I think I need to remind myself what this change is all about....

Day 318 CD 12: Bike day

I biked to work and home again today, which is something that I hadn't done for a while.

Sugar free again today, despite temptations (brownies at work, icecream at home)....

I need to work on the junk food thing though, as I seem to have substituted cheese/crackers and chips for the sugar in my life.

Day 317 CD 11: Family reunited

I was reunited with my family today. It was nice to see their smiling faces again.

Hubby and I also got a major chore done tonight - tax returns (due on the 7th - talk about last minute!!). Glad that is over.... that took the whole evening so I wasn't distracted by the chips tonight. Hooray!

Exercise tomorrow.....

Day 316 CD 10: Delayed homecoming

I am a bit bummed that my family who were due home this afternoon, have been delayed until tomorrow morning after a bomb scare disrupted flights.

The first night they were away was exciting and peaceful, the second I started to miss them, and now I can't wait to see them!

I did ok today - still no sugar HOORAY! and made it for a run walk despite the constant rain today. I have been snacking more than I should, and it hasn't been for hunger - more like boredom.....

Anyway - tomorrow is a work day, so that will keep me distracted!

Day 315 CD 9: Tidy house

I spent the whole of yesterday cleaning up the house, and sorting out paper work. It was a good distraction, although because I was at home by myself I had a lot of cravings.

I nearly caved in several times including when I did the supermarket shopping (my inner demon saying "oh it doesn't matter if you cave in this once - you have done well most of the time"), but I didn't.

My eating hasn't exactly been healthy and balanced, but I am proud of myself for sticking with the no sugar thing.

Off to do some more cleaning before the messer-uppers get home....

Day 314 Change Day 8

I am on my own until Sunday - which feels very strange. The fam left this morning to the inlaws on a spur of the moment trip, and I am left behind to try to get all the things done that I wanted to around the house.

It feels very weird, and the old part of me wants to treat this as an eating fest! Which I have done a little, eating more than I should, and grabbing at stuff rather that sitting down for a balanced meal. However I have avoided sugar all day - hooray!

Anyway, I set myself 15 mins on the computer before more tidying, so I'd better be off.

Day 313 CD7 - A week done

Ok, so it has been a week of the new challenge. It is getting hard, I was SOOOO craving some sugar today.... but I resisted, distracted, and ate chips instead... not ideal, but I need to focus on my primary goal.

I ate a bit much chinese takeaways this evening. I liked the taste to much and was really hungry before dinner.

Day 312 Change Day 6

Is it only 6 days already? It feels like I have been doing this no sugar thing for an eternity!

Day 311 Change Day 5

Did ok today. Still being sugar free, although I was really hungry today for some reason (maybe this chilly weather??)

Day 310 Change Day 4

Well I didn't accidentally eat anything sugary today (hooray!). It was a bit of an effort, as there was a morning tea shout at work in which everything had sugar in it (including the vege chips!).

I'm getting great support from my hubby, work colleagues, and my online accountability partner, which has been a great support.

The weather is getting a bit nippy here. It is supposed to be 3 degrees overnight - brrrr! I usually find myself being slothful at this time of year, so the timing of this change is critical.

Day 309 Change Day 3

Big oops today - ate sugar without even realising it. Feel pretty dumb doing that on day 3!!!

Getting good support from home, and don't have a headache today (well didn't even before the brownie).

Managed to get my butt out the door for a walk too.

Onwards and upwards

Day 308 Change Day 2

OK, so I feel a bit crappier today. Have been a bit tired, headachy and grumpy. Have probably eaten a bit more than just when hungry. Have felt like I was roaming around looking for something i could eat this afternoon and this evening.

Hubby has been very supportive though, which is great. And there are no junk foods (sugar free) in the cupboard to tempt me!

Day 307 Change Day 1: Fresh as a daisy

It feels nice to have a fresh start, and I did well today. I don't even feel too yucky or headachy yet which is good.

Day 306: A new start

My "Change for Good" approach starts tomorrow

I am starting tomorrow June 22nd. I will be:
- committing to 30 days of sugar free as a kick start
- aiming to eat to hunger/fullness cues, and what my body needs/deserves
- keep my feelings/hunger tracker on my desk and make a note every time I think about eating
- aiming to be active for 20 mins or more 4 times per week
- praying, diverting, relaxing.

I am also going to track on my blog daily the following things:
- whether I have eaten in secret or sneaked food
- whether I have been sugar free
- how many fruit/veges I have had (I do this already, but want to get the numbers up!)
- how much junk food $ I used (I have $90 to start the month - and get to keep what is left)
- what exercise I have done
- how many times I ate when I wasn't hungry

Later I want to focus on things like portions and getting some of these things refined, but for now the above is my focus.

I have support from my hubby and my accountability partner, Jenn. I know that this will take ENERGY, EFFORT, and ATTENTION. I can do it!

Day 301: Been away a while

Haven't been blogging for a while, partly because I have "fallen off the wagon" and partly because I am in the planning phase for action (based on the "Changing for Good" book).

I have yet to set a date, but preparation is underway for my change... the book emphasises that is important not to just jump right in and start to try to change straight away. It says you need to review the good and bad things about changing to see where you are at.

Overeating does have some positivity in my life (as strange as it may seem to say that). It means I eat whatever I want. It numbs my feelings. It means I don't need to be worried about being seen as a "sex object" or get undue attention. Chocolate makes me feel good (for a while). And overeating is my habit, and the "easier option".

So I need to think about WHY I am going to change, and ensure that those reasons are more than good enough to counteract any positive thoughts about staying the same....

Anyway, it is late so I don't want to go into details now, but see later posts for my new approach and plan..... :-)

Day 292: Got my book yesterday

Sorry for not posting for a couple of days. I have been doing great on exercise, but not so good on the eating front.

Anyway I got my new book - Changing for Good - yesterday. Just read the first couple of chapters so far, but so far so good.

Day 289: Climb every mountain

I was climbing mountains today - literally and non-literally. My physical mountain was a walk my family on a beautiful holiday day. Something that we had been meaning to do since we moved here over a year ago.

My other mountain, my eating, didn't go too badly today. I ate reasonably intuitively. Felt a bit full after dinner. Slept away the afternoon which probably helped the afternoon-at-home-munchies!

Anyway, here is to a positive week.

Day 287: OK day

I had an OK day today - it could have been a lot worse!!!

I felt hunger a couple of times, and haven't gone all out crazy this evening.

Baby steps.

Preparing mentally for my 5km race tomorrow.

Day 286: Hamsters again

I'm being a hamster again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 284: Cold kicking in, eating taking hold

I told myself I wouldn't try to stuff this cold with food, but I am!!! I know it doesn't help and I would be better with honey and lemon drinks!!!!

Day 283: Great run at lunchtime

I made myself go for a decent run at lunchtime, and I did great!

Still work to do on eating when hungry, but making baby steps - avoided the icecream tonight!

Day 282: Sitting with full belly again

Haven't posted for a few days. Didn't do great over the weekend - no spirituality, and generally no consciousness...

I have ordered a book today that I saw on the A Weight Lifted site...

Day 279: Lots of exercise today

So the eating wasn't great today, but I got in a bit of exercise - riding to and from work, and walking at lunchtime.

This weekend I will work on feeling hunger again.

Day 278: The snack box and the evening munchies

These two things are my current downfall. The ever-present snack box at work, and the items that are on hand while I sit at the computer or watch tv in the evening.....

Day 277: Progress in the rain

It was a horrid day weather wise today, but not so bad on the "intuitive eating" front. I did "graze" a bit at work, but avoided the snack box (getting very close on occasions!). I also forced myself out for a run at lunchtime, just made it a short one, but glad I got out there.

Gonna do some weights in front of the tv soon.

Day 276: Headaches aren't solved by eating!

Why is it that when I feel a bit off colour, I reach for food - I KNOW that it doesn't help!!

Day 275

Ok, so I figured out why I was hungry and grumpy!!

Day 274 - Hamster wheel

I sit here with a full stomach after eating way beyond "satisfied". When will I learn.

I have been on autopilot the last few days.

Day 270: Forgetting the spirit

I am forgetting my trust in the spirit during the day... I take time to think about it in the evening after blogging, and reassure myself that I will focus hard the next day, but the next day I slip into old habits.

Today also wasn't helped by an awful night's sleep last night...

Day 270: Progress not perfection

Today I had some progress, and some areas that weren't so focussed, but overall it went well.

Day 269: Alone in an office...and eating

So today my office mate wasn't there, and I turned it into an excuse for an eating binge. I ate lots of crap.

The positive side of the day is that at lunchtime I went to walk to the shops to get more sweets to eat in my office, but part way there I turned around and said "what am I doing - I don't need to do that" and I went back to my office and had a mint instead.

That was a small ray of sunshine in a cloudy day.

Day 268: Another bad nights sleep

I had another awful night's sleep last night. My son kept us awake.

I hate this half awake feeling, and I was silly and tried to medicate it with food.... it doesn't help. All I need is an early night.

Day 264: Progress not perfection

I am seeking progress, not perfection, and today I got that. I managed to avoid the snack box at work, despite nearly heading for it several times. I had a junky dinner, but I didn't eat beyond satisfied, so that is progress.

I even managed to haul my butt out the door at lunchtime for a run, despite being SO TIRED today after an awful night's sleep... Hopefully it will be a better one tonight.

Day 263: Slightly better but still work to do

I felt I did a little better today, but I still need to listen to my heart. I went to get lollies at lunchtime today. I wasn't hungry, I was even thinking that as I walked to buy the sweets!

Keep trying.

Day 262: Hamster wheel is back

What has happened - I was doing so well at focussing and it has all gone out the window. I need help.

Day 260: No comment

...

Day 259: Wake up

Doing lazy silly things today.... need to wake up.

Day 258: Going so well then....

Old habits die hard. I listened to my hunger right up until the end of work when I was dealing with something annoying, and I attacked a chocolate bar. Then this evening I have munched out on some snacky junk....

At least I did some great exercise today - although it was hard work.

Day 257: Back and forward

I gave in to temptation from the snack box this morning, but since then have been listening to my hunger.

Day 256: Improved day

My day was an improvement on yesterday - I did well at work eating when hungry and eating what my body needed.

We got thai takeout tonight and it was so yummy that I had a second serving that I didn't really need. Then just now when I was working on the computer I saw hubby eating icecream and decided that I wanted some too - even though I was still quite full. Need to work on that...