Day 97: So tired......

We have moved house now, and the last few days have been exhausting. I haven't slept well, and it has been a very physical few days of moving, packing, and unpacking.

My eating has been all out of wack - I have been eating to try to stay awake... making bad choices.

Now that the move is done hopefully I can focus on my needs.

Day 92: Positive negatives

OK, today had some IE ups and downs. Late morning I was thinking about heading to the snack box (I was stressed with work), but I thought - no I don't need to eat I have an apple I can have instead. I went to eat the apple, but I realised that I wasn't actually HUNGRY - so I didn't need to eat anything.

Then about half an hour later (I still wasn't really hungry) I saw the apple and started munching - for no reason!

At lunchtime I had my yummy leftovers, and I was full, but I did my silly-and-getting-more-regular trip to the shop to get lollies, which I proceeded to scoff within half an hour. I need to stop doing this.

Maybe I could try ABCDEF:

Activating event: Scoffing lollies at lunchtime
Belief: I am stressed, sweets and chocolate makes me feel better when I am stressed. I can always start again tomorrow with eating when I am hungry.
Consequence: I don't eat intuitively, I feel bad about eating lollies, AS WELL AS STILL FEELING STRESSED! Tomorrow never comes. I have to start today.
Dispute: Eating sweets does not help the stress, it actually makes things worse, as I always feel guilty afterwards. It doesn't help me to lose weight, it is bad for my teeth, and it could lead me to diabetes!
Effective new beliefs: I can handle stress. Everyone gets stress, and it won't kill me. The things I stress about are pretty small in the scheme of things. I am an intelligent woman, I understand that stuffing my face with lollies doesn't make the stress go away. Stress is OK. It shows me that I am alive and living! Think - what is the worst that can happen and realise that it is unlikely!
Feelings: I can handle stress, and I will look for alternatives to feeding my emotional hunger, including:
- a brisk walk
- reading a magazine in a shop
- window shopping
- writing a letter
- deep breathing
- gum (if I have mouth hunger)

Day 91: Running in the rain

I went for a run in the rain this morning, and it was actually quite fun. I hadn't gone on Monday because my little boy wasn't well, so I felt I really should get out there despite the weather.

Didn't eat too intuitively today. Meals were ok, but as usual snacks were excessive and not what I was needing.

Day 90: Hospital pass

I have been given a hospital pass job at work, not fun, and it has caused me a bit of stress. I need to keep telling myself that trying to subdue the stress with chocolate or sweets is not going to help. I might feel better for about 5 seconds but then I will feel worse.

Didn't get to go for my run yesterday, because my little boy was a bit sick. Hopefully will get to go in the morning.

Goal for tomorrow: eat consciously- tolerate stress

Day 88: Yesterday and Today

I didn't post yesterday, as I had an all out eating frenzy...

Today has been a little better (my stomach isn't stuffed full, although I haven't really eaten intuitively today.

I have to apologise to Jenn my accountability partner, as I haven't been very accountable lately!

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day, and I'm not going to continue this weekend's binge any more because of that.

My aim for tomorrow is to feel hunger twice!

Day 86

Fallen off the wagon... feel lousy.

Time for bed.

Day 84: Rollercoaster ride

After doing so well yesterday, today felt like a bit of a "down". I didn't eat intuitively, and I snacked a lot.

Day 83: Resisting temptation

I had some great positives today! I went for a run this morning, and although my legs still felt like lead for the first 5 mins or so, I lasted ok.

I had a full-on day atwork, working on another project, and we also went out to lunch because one of the girls is getting married. I had yummy lunch, and ate more than I should have because it was soooo yummmy.

I felt like a chocolate bar in the afternoon, but I had some sugarfree gum instead.

This evening I stopped part way through my dinner because I had eaten enough (yay!), and although I knew there were chocolate biscuits in the fridge I had a hot chocolate instead which filled me up and gave me that chocolate fix. Hubby even directly offered me the chocolate biscuits later and I turned them down!!!

Day 82: Meals OK, Snacks Astray

The title says it all - my meals have been right on target, but my snacking is a constant source of excessiveness!

Today, while on my lunchtime walk, I stopped in at the store to get some gum, but I saw a mars bar pack, and bought that as well! I thought I don't have to eat it... but by the time I got back to work it was gone.

Then this evening I was rummaging around looking for something sweet (the copious amounts of fruit didn't tempt me). If we'd had milk I would have made a hot chocolate, but we were low, so instead I kept on rummaging....

At least I have started packing now!!! :-)

Day 81: The reasons I don't bake

Felt ok about my progress today, although looking back over my food diary it doesn't look so great. I felt like I ate consciously today, up until I baked in the evening, and ate 3 cookies while sitting in front of a movie....

Went for another run this morning and it was still hard work, although not quite as bad as yesterday.

Seems like blogger is doing some funny things with my posts - I could see day 80 just before, and now it is gone.. .that's not good.. .might need to look at an alternative.

Day 77: Excuses excuses

Really busy at work and stressful at the moment, but I have got to THINK, and not go into my habit-of-a-lifetime and turn to food when stressed. Right now my tummy feels full and I feel yuck, as I haven't treated it well today.

Achy shoulder still, got to keep off this keyboard for a while...

Day 75: Needle schmeedle

Gave blood today - great excuse to eat chocolate biscuits :-)

Seriously, today was pretty busy, so I didn't get much of a chance at work to nibble and crave.. after dinner was another story. Sweets are sitting in the cupboard calling my name... and I'm NOT HUNGRY!!! why do they tempt me?

RSI playing up today, so I will sign out for now...

Day 73, 74: 6km

Can't remember too much of yesterday. My sister was visiting so didn't get much chance to get on the computer.

This morning I did a 6km sloooooowwww run. Have been nibbling on sugary stuff all day. My stomach feels uncomfortably full... silly silly.

Physically very tired today, and will probably sleep well tonight.

Tomorrow's goal - eat when hungry - think about what powers my body.

Day 73, 74: 6km

Can't remember too much of yesterday. My sister was visiting so didn't get much chance to get on the computer.

This morning I did a 6km sloooooowwww run. Have been nibbling on sugary stuff all day. My stomach feels uncomfortably full... silly silly.

Physically very tired today, and will probably sleep well tonight.

Tomorrow's goal - eat when hungry - think about what powers my body.

Day 72: Got my timer on

I have my 15 minute timer on so I better be quick.

Felt like I listened to my hunger today, apart from late afternoon (after some work stress) and this evening (in front of TV again).

Went for a run this morning - felt good. Going to do some strength stuff next.

Day 71: Feel that rumble

Well, I aimed to feel hunger today before meals, and I did a pretty good job! I had a headache most of the day that got worse in the afternoon (often I reach for chocolate at that point, but I didn't need it).

Ended up having some chocolate after dinner and really enjoyed it!!

p.s. I spend way too much of my evening on my butt in front of the computer. I think I need to take Flylady's advice and spend it in 15 minute chunks, in between doing something constructive!

Day 70: That many days?

Has it been 70 days of logging this? I'm not sure what changes I have made in that time...


I guess at least I can show I have been consistent in logging my thoughts and my food diary. I need to think a bit more about my danger times and why I am eating when I'm not hungry.

Again tomorrow I will focus on hunger.

Day 69: Mouth hunger

Just ate and ate today - no regard for hunger... going to focus on letting myself be hungry tomorrow.

On a positive note I walked at lunchtime and went to a body pump class tonight.

Day 68: Rain rain go away

It is a public holiday here today, so no work (which is nice), but the weather is pretty wet and yuck. I managed to get out for a quick walk today (and ate two chocolate bars while I was out!) but no runs yet today. Hopefully it will ease off a bit later and I can go after the kids have their dinner.

The inlaws left this morning, and the kids had a sleep this afternoon, so I have had a bit of time to try to organise myself. Lots to do.

Feeling a bit blah - wonder if it is the weather, or related to some of the food I have eaten over the last few days.

(later)
Was very tempted to get chicken fried rice for dinnner tonight - couldn't be bothered cooking. But my body didn't really want it - it hasn't had much fruit or vegetables over the last few days. Instead I searched my recipes and came up with a quick and easy guacamole on toast dinner that was better for me.

Day 66, 67: No space

Had inlaws come to stay - great for the kids to see them, but meant that daughter was in our room both nights so no time on the computer. Eaten lots of junk without thought.