Day 224: Soon to be another year older

It is my birthday on Monday, and around this time of year I always seem to think about what I am doing with my life, and in particular my food issues.

I am actually starting to get really concerned about stuff like diabetes and heart disease. My BMI is around 28-29 - much higher and I will be in the obese category!!!!

I want to be healthy for me and for my family.

Day 222: Not so on-to-it today

Old habits again....

Day 221: Blogging again

Did ok today - progress at least....

Day No Idea

So I have been a bit slack with blogging (again) lately. No idea even what day I am up to now....

Just been reading some stuff on the web on binge eating - interesting.... Questions to ask (and my answers) are:
I eat when I am not hungry. YES
I eat until I feel extremely uncomfortable, not just full. YES
I eat a lot—and often. YES
I snack and nibble all day long. YES
I feel out of control and can't stop eating. YES
I eat very fast. YES
I prefer to eat alone. YES
I keep my eating habits a secret from family and friends. YES
I always seem to be dieting—and breaking my diet. KIND OF
My weight goes up and down by more than a few pounds. KIND OF
I feel disgusted, depressed, and guilty after I eat a lot. YES

Pretty telling really....

Also I:
- Hide food wrappers so that people won't know what i have eaten
- Eat normally in front of people, then sneak out and eat afterwards
- Eat treats that have been given to my kids
- Know what food is good for me and my body, and what should be eaten occasionally, but eat junk as often as I can...........

Day 207: Small progress

Felt like I made some small steps of progress today.... While at work I wrote down the time every time I thought about eating (a lot!!!), what my hunger rating was, and then I wrote what I did. Most of the time I did some deep breaths. I did have two snacks (including chocolate), but I felt like it was great progress considering some of the days I have had lately. This evening hasn't been too bad either (although I have eaten through most of the temptation on previous days!)

Good baby steps. Keep it up! :-)

Day 206: Stuffed again

Stuffed myself so full tonight - had eaten a lot then hubby bought a burger and chips home and I ate even more... stressed about work/home situation...

Day 203: Fatty food frenzy

Eating eating eating... all day long....

Day 202

Was annoyed yesterday becuase blogspot wasn't working again so I couldn't blog my stuff. I actually had a reasonably good day yessterday. I rode into work on my bike, and avoided all except one sweet all day (I ended upeating a bag of vege crisps when I found my orange was mouldy!!).

I was tempted lots of times for chocolate. I even went to the snack boxto buy one, then someone came in and I thought I don't really want it,so I didn't get it!!! I even managed to get out for a small run at lunchtime and rode home. Then after dinner I was craving sweet things. I had some crisps again,and a couple of biscuits but I didn't eat the icecream that wascalling to me several times during the evening. So overall I think yesterday could be counted as a babystep to success!

Today wasn't quite so positive. I did ride to and from work, but I didn't take much lunch/fruit with me and ended up at the snack box at 9.30am cos I was hungry.

At lunchtime I had sushi, and then went and bought some chocolate raisins when I was at the fruit shop to buy fruit. I ate all the chocolate raisins and none of the fruit!!!

Anyway. Tomorrow I am aiming for sugar free - I will eat anything else....

Day 200: 200 days on and no closer to change

I feel a bit deflated by the fact that I have been blogging for 200 days, but today was just as much of an eating frenzy as ever. If I were someone else listening to me I would want to slap me and say - "just get on with it! How hard can it be to think before you eat!"