Day One: Another new start

So... it starts again. A new day, a new attempt to find some control over the insatiable need to chomp my way through huge quanities of chocolate/sugar/junk food. It isn't like this is a new thing. I will let you in on a bit of condensed history...maybe my story is similar to yours....

Early Memories

Early Childhood

I wasn't a large child, although I have always loved food. Some of my earliest food related memories include coming home from birthday parties (where we'd been filled up with various junk food treats), and telling my mother that we hadn't had much to eat, so that I could eat some more.

Treats

"Treat" foods were strictly controlled and rare (as they should be I guess), but in some ways I wonder, if they hadn't been made so elusive and "special", if I would have had such a strong craving for them???

I was very fussy with food - there were so many things that I didn't like (I must have driven my parents mad). I didn't really start eating "different" things until I left home and went flatting. By then I guess my taste buds had matured and my peers had more influence.

Teens

I put on more and more weight over time in my teens (I kind of kept with my age, i.e. at 10 was size 10, at 14 size 14, and at 16 size 16). I wasn't into girly things like makeup/boys/dressing up. I was a good student, and very sensible/square/geeky/shy. I used to start food diaries, and do exercises in my room - usually short lived bouts of enthusiasm.

The power of young love!

I guess things only changed when I got my first boyfriend after starting university (who I ended up marrying many years later!!!). The whole nervous energy/young love thing kicked in, and I lost quite a bit of weight - getting down to a 12/14 without purposely trying.

Gradually over the years as we became more comfortable with each other, the old habits crept back. He loves sweet/sugary foods too, although he knows his limit and is slim. I did my old habit of starting diaries, and "being good" but it never lasted long.

Getting married

When we decided to get married I knew that I didn't want to look the way that I did in my wedding photos, so I headed nervously off to weight watchers and lost probably about 8-10 kg. I was happy with the way that I looked in my photos (lightest in the last 12 years or so!), although I stopped going before I got to goal.

About a month after we married we moved to the UK, and once there under the stress of travelling and trying to find work, the old habits kicked in. Within 6 months I was back to where I started... again.

Over the years

Over the years since I have tried going back to Weight Watchers a few times, being less successful each time. I tried hypnosis - which I thought was good, but I started just before I found out I was pregnant, so abandoned dieting.

What I believe in

I then happened upon a program called HUGS, run by a dietician in Auckland. I think the HUGS philosophies are fantastic. The basic premise is not to make any radical changes but to gradually improve your eating, and confidence, focus on your body/hunger and not to diet. Since then I have got rid of my scales and declared not to diet again.

I have since had another child and am at the heaviest I have been through general laziness and my sweet tooth. I don't want to get in that diet mentality (since I know that I will end up even heavier), but I still end up eating loads of chocolate and sugary foods.

I've had recent forays into two other programs (Mind Over Body and hypnosis tapes from Grant Boddington) both of which have good points that I think can apply together with the HUGS philosophy. On a personal organisation front I have also been following basic FlyLady steps over the past year which I think will combine to get me into the mindset I want.

The purpose of this blog is to try to get some focus, and hopefully some support in continuing on the no-diet approach.

I aim to post every day and take baby steps to get my brain and body going in the direction that I want them to.